Paul Slansky’s News Index: This Preposterous Week

Aiken, Clay •Adam Lambert is not enjoyed by, and apparently not because of his ambiguous sexuality Blagojevich, Patti •acceptance by of NBC offer to appear on Costa Rican jungle-based reality show that husband of was unable to appear on due to being under indictment Bush, George W. •shredding of the preposterous endlessly repeated meme that the nation was “kept safe” by, a quintessentially ludicrous claim given that, among other ignominious fiascos, the worst attack on American soil, the destruction of a major American city, and the collapse of the American economy all occurred under the “watch” of •speeches by Obama and Cheney are not seen as essential viewing by carbon dioxide •potential danger of to the environment is pooh-poohed by conservatives because “we breathe” it and “we are made of carbon” Carter, Graydon •Brooke Astor’s question to — “Have you seen Graydon Carter” — is recalled by Cheney, Dick •criticism of torture is dismissed by as “contrived indignation,” “phony moralizing” and “feigned outrage” •”snarling” fear-mongering speech by is pepper-sprayed with repeated references to “danger,” “threat,” “attack” and a Giuliani-esque two dozen-plus mentions of “9/11” Democrats •preternatural spinelessness of euphemisms •use of by Obama “to obscure the debate over national security” is scoffed at by Cheney, whose description of torture as “enhanced interrogation methods” has now been topped by the even less specific “unpleasant things” Gates, Defense Secretary Robert •first name of is gotten wrong time and time and time again gay marriage •replacement of abortion by as hot-button issue in upcoming Supreme Court confirmation hearings Goldberg, Whoopi •Glenn Beck is called a “lying sack of dog mess” by Gordon, Lucy •suicide of Grey, Brad •wife of signs papers finalizing divorce from with a smiley face Jackson, Michael •beginning of comeback tour is, of course, postponed Kennedy, Sen

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