(Email) Chain of Moans – Episode 4


As the show with the most duplicitous dragons on television continues, Nelson Mail reporters and bloggers Sarah Dunn and Adam Roberts continue their discussions about the land of Westeros.

Dear Adam,

We were left with a bit of a cliff-hanger last week when Jaime Lannister got his hand cut off by Lord Bolton. Luckily, Game of Thrones didn’t leave us dangling for too long. [Sorry, couldn’t resist.]

With that hand strung around his neck, Jaime is a sad sight, especially since he is more or less silent.

His lack of speech seems to indicate that the former soldier is starting to understand that he really has lost something of value for good this time. As always, Brienne tells him as much, bluntly and not without kindness.

By the time Theon Greyjoy’s harrowing escape and re-capture had ended, I couldn’t help wishing he also had lost his words.

There’s something uncomfortable about Theon’s constant talk and lack of self-awareness, he’s almost similar to Joffrey in that regard.

However, if I’ve read the psychopath glint in the eyes of Theon’s mysterious rescuer correctly, I think we might have just been introduced to a new and fascinating character- Ramsay Snow, bastard son of Lord Bolton.

The complicated psychological torture he put Theon through in this episode should be a good indicator of what Ramsay is like, but he’s essentially a Hannibal Lecter-style serial killer in charge of a small province. He does not mean well and Theon is not in for a good time.

We also get a glimpse of the kind of darkness Varys is capable of when he shows Tyrion the man who made him a eunuch. Varys calmly and competently, Varys tells Tyrion the story of his disfigurement before flipping the lid of a large box to reveal a gagged and bound wizard from Myr.

Varys is less smooth in the presence of my favourite matriarch, Lady Olenna Tyrell, but he swiftly gets used to her and adapts well. The sight of them plotting together to save Sansa from Littlefinger was satisfying, as was Margaery’s continued assault on Joffrey’s nasty little heart.

Finally, we have some big bad news and some big good news. First, the bad: Jeor Mormont, Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch was killed by his own men. The Old Bear had been visibly losing control of his surly, starving troops for some time but his actual stabbing still came as a shock.

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Another good guy is gone.

The good news is that Daenarys Stormborn has finally pulled herself together and made a move. As we were all hoping, she double-crossed the slave-seller in Astapor beautifully by getting Drogon to set him alight, and then convinced all of the 8,000 Unsullied warriors to fight for her as free men.

Given the fact that their owner was boasting just one episode ago that the Unsullied were incapable of freewill, I felt like their commitment to Dani’s cause might be less authentic than she could hope for, but it did make for an uplifting ending to an intense episode. What did you think

– Sarah

I WAS RIGHT!

Sorry, I’ll start that again. Dear Sarah, I WAS RIGHT!

Daenerys did the ol’, “right, so are these my slaves, are you sure Are we done OK slaves and dragon, kill him'” switcharoo, just like I predicted last week. Such an obvious move and the evil goatee man didn’t even see it coming.

That’s the thing about evil slave masters: they forget that other people have free will to hatch plans of their own.

That whole scene was fantastic, from the surprise reveal that she understood their language the whole time, to her awesome dragon container and bridle, to the goatee guy getting fried.

If Littlefinger is the most dangerous man in Westeros (one word: Podric), Daenerys is mos def the most dangerous woman (highly commended: Margaery/Lady Olenna).

That scene pretty much completely redeemed that whole storyline, and I’m now much more excited about next week.

I completely agree with you – there’s no way after one minute of being free, these guys will be able to make such important decisions about their lives. I feel like she’s trying to have her cake (deadly-slave-warrior-flavoured) and eat it too.

Also, dropping the whip is officially the Westeros version of dropping the mic.

Aside from that, all the other storylines in the show went from horrific to worse: from Jaime drinking horse urine to Theon getting completely trolled by his saviour and re-imprisoned.

If as you’re guessing those two horrible people are related, it’s a really solid endorsement of the ”nature” side of the ”nature/nurture” child-development argument.

We also learned more about Varys – it turns out he’s more creepy than we’d assumed, with his ”mutilated pervert in a box” routine like the worst magic trick ever.

Kinda feel like ”Hannibal Lecter-style” could be a descriptor appended to any of these characters.

As for Jaime Lannister, sure he is adaptable, but jeez, I don’t know how things can possibly improve for him from here. I’m just as stumped as him.

It’s been a few years since I’ve had a swordfight, but I assume it’s a non-trivial task learning how to use the other hand. Hopefully Jaime’s general awesomeness will prove advantageous.

I guess the biggest question for Jaime is – prothesis-wise, will he go for the hook Or given that he’s still got it dangling around his neck, will some witch reanimate it

Personally I think Margaery is coming on a little strong, to both Sansa and Joffrey, but since the show has about 12 million storylines going at once, I can forgive it if it occasionally paints with a broad brush.

I couldn’t care less about the Crow coup. This show has too many characters, the creators can fill their boots when it comes to offing some. The one thing I will say is the guy who instigated the coup kinda looks like Shane Carter from Straitjacket Fits. No

Finally, if I was running the show it would consist of shots of Tywin writing angrily, while Lady Olenna cracks wise and eats cheese. I’m just saying.

– Adam

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