Celebrating bin Laden’s death

There are so many things that make the killing of Osama bin Laden absolutely delicious: the hypocrisy of his being nabbed in a million-dollar, suburban compound even as he sent others to their deaths; the fear he must have felt as his bedroom door burst open and he found himself staring down the barrel of an American weapon held by an American soldier; the ignominious end his remains met — dumped overboard into the Arabian Sea like so much unwanted rubbish.

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Paul Slansky’s News Index: This Preposterous Week

Aiken, Clay •Adam Lambert is not enjoyed by, and apparently not because of his ambiguous sexuality Blagojevich, Patti •acceptance by of NBC offer to appear on Costa Rican jungle-based reality show that husband of was unable to appear on due to being under indictment Bush, George W. •shredding of the preposterous endlessly repeated meme that the nation was “kept safe” by, a quintessentially ludicrous claim given that, among other ignominious fiascos, the worst attack on American soil, the destruction of a major American city, and the collapse of the American economy all occurred under the “watch” of •speeches by Obama and Cheney are not seen as essential viewing by carbon dioxide •potential danger of to the environment is pooh-poohed by conservatives because “we breathe” it and “we are made of carbon” Carter, Graydon •Brooke Astor’s question to — “Have you seen Graydon Carter” — is recalled by Cheney, Dick •criticism of torture is dismissed by as “contrived indignation,” “phony moralizing” and “feigned outrage” •”snarling” fear-mongering speech by is pepper-sprayed with repeated references to “danger,” “threat,” “attack” and a Giuliani-esque two dozen-plus mentions of “9/11” Democrats •preternatural spinelessness of euphemisms •use of by Obama “to obscure the debate over national security” is scoffed at by Cheney, whose description of torture as “enhanced interrogation methods” has now been topped by the even less specific “unpleasant things” Gates, Defense Secretary Robert •first name of is gotten wrong time and time and time again gay marriage •replacement of abortion by as hot-button issue in upcoming Supreme Court confirmation hearings Goldberg, Whoopi •Glenn Beck is called a “lying sack of dog mess” by Gordon, Lucy •suicide of Grey, Brad •wife of signs papers finalizing divorce from with a smiley face Jackson, Michael •beginning of comeback tour is, of course, postponed Kennedy, Sen

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