Paul Slansky’s News Index: This Preposterous Week

Paul Slanskys News Index: This Preposterous Week

Aiken, Clay
•Adam Lambert is not enjoyed by, and apparently not because of his ambiguous sexuality

Blagojevich, Patti
•acceptance by of NBC offer to appear on Costa Rican jungle-based reality show that husband of was unable to appear on due to being under indictment

Bush, George W.
•shredding of the preposterous endlessly repeated meme that the nation was “kept safe” by, a quintessentially ludicrous claim given that, among other ignominious fiascos, the worst attack on American soil, the destruction of a major American city, and the collapse of the American economy all occurred under the “watch” of

•speeches by Obama and Cheney are not seen as essential viewing by

carbon dioxide
•potential danger of to the environment is pooh-poohed by conservatives because “we breathe” it and “we are made of carbon”

Carter, Graydon
•Brooke Astor’s question to — “Have you seen Graydon Carter” — is recalled by

Cheney, Dick
•criticism of torture is dismissed by as “contrived indignation,” “phony moralizing” and “feigned outrage”

•”snarling” fear-mongering speech by is pepper-sprayed with repeated references to “danger,” “threat,” “attack” and a Giuliani-esque two dozen-plus mentions of “9/11”

•preternatural spinelessness of

•use of by Obama “to obscure the debate over national security” is scoffed at by Cheney, whose description of torture as “enhanced interrogation methods” has now been topped by the even less specific “unpleasant things”

Gates, Defense Secretary Robert
•first name of is gotten wrong time and time and time again

gay marriage
•replacement of abortion by as hot-button issue in upcoming Supreme Court confirmation hearings

Goldberg, Whoopi
•Glenn Beck is called a “lying sack of dog mess” by

Gordon, Lucy
•suicide of

Grey, Brad
•wife of signs papers finalizing divorce from with a smiley face

Jackson, Michael
•beginning of comeback tour is, of course, postponed

Kennedy, Sen. Ted
•remission of brain cancer of

King, Larry, Jr.
•existence of is finally acknowledged by father of

LaTourette, Rep. Steven
•surname of is hilariously lived up to by

McConnell, Sen. Mitch
•opposition of to filibustering of judicial nominees is — surprise! — a thing of the past

Obama, President Barack
•ambivalent reactions to civil liberties/national security speech by

•elimination of potential 2012 rival by

•ultimate futility of efforts of to avoid dealing with Bush administration lawbreaking

•unhappiness of about increasing liberal unhappiness with

Panettiere, Hayden
•misspelled tattoo of

Parker, Mary-Louise
•displeasure of about exposure of breasts of

Perry, Gov. Rick
•Republican need to attract new voters leads strategist for to warn party
not to “take your principles and throw them out the door and become a whorehouse and let anybody in who wants to come in, regardless”

Quinn, Jim
•question by about detainees: “Why don’t we just shoot ’em”

Rumsfeld, Donald
•Bible quotes are shamelessly employed by to justify Iraq war

•brutal assessment of tenure as Defense Secretary of

Safer, Morley
•mistrust of blogs of

Silverman, Ben
•still no NBC hits from

Steele, Michael
•declaration by that “the era of apologizing for Republican mistakes of the past is now officially over” leaves observers scratching their heads and wondering when it began

Todd, Chuck
•the word “credible” is applied to Cheney by — really, “credible,” he actually said it — as part of the contemptible media effort to portray the immediate following of a presidential speech about national security by Cheney’s self-serving defense of the beyond-disastrous policies he was the architect of as some kind of battle of equals

Trump, Donald
•plug is pulled on magazine bearing the obnoxious name of

Winehouse, Amy
•chest pains — of all things to be suffered by one so health-conscious — lead to yet another hospitalization of

•forthcoming documentary consisting of “a truthful and revealing look” at the “complicated life” of is announced